6274 Version 1.003 Lawyerdude: 541 476 8954. Lawyerdude1989@yahoo.com Click here to go to my links at bottom of this page.
Upgraded 19 Sept 2005. 15 October 2005. Saturday, April 8, 2006. 29Jun06. Friday, August 18, 2006.
This page is http://www.lawyerdude.8k.com/contract.html and http://www.lawyerdude.netfirms.com/contract.html
Related pages:
How to Win: http://www.lawyerdude.netfirms.com/7260.html
What to do next: http://www.lawyerdude.s5.com/6673.html
Read how Charlie saved his case when the judge denied his demurrer: Transcript: http://ronfox.250free.com/6709.htm
How to Control the Pace of your Case: The litigation work Cycle: http://www.fu.gq.nu/6641.html
Empower Yourself! Embrace your case!
The Pen is Mightier then the Mouth!
For a list of folks who have won and will talk to you: http://www.circuitlawyer.8m.com/traffic.html
How to work well with Lawyerdude:
Do these things regarding your case & court.
Lawyerdude 541 476 8954. Lawyerdude1989@yahoo.com Dlawyerdude@gmail.com
The big contract is further down the page - here - you can jump to it.
Here is the most important stuff first:
Remember these things to jump start your case and work your case and win:
1. Tell me your story in writing - unless you want to pay me to write your story out. I am happy to listen to a brief version of your story on the phone but I will want the story from you in writing. If you are marginally literate then I can help you with you story, but generally I expect you to do your part.
a. Don’t ever use ALL CAPS !
b. I want to know: who, what, when, where, when, why, and how.
c. All human events can be described by a chronology, list of players, and list of places.
d. The Chronology and List of players are the most important information I need from you.
i. Link to detailed explanation of case summary: http://www.lawyerdude.8k.com/summary.html
e. List of Players. One of the two critical sections. Please tell me about all these people and others, listed in order of importance to your case:
i. You,
ii. the court reporter,
iii. the other court reporter,
iv. the next court reporter,
v. the clerk in the courtroom,
vi. your lawyer,
vii. your lawyer’s secretary,
viii. your previous lawyer,
ix. the lawyer before that,
x. the prosecutor,
xi. the judge,
xii. the court,
xiii. the court in your other case,
xiv. the state court of appeal,
xv. your local federal court,
xvi. your wife,
xvii. your previous wife,
xviii. your dad
xix. your mom
xx. your brothers and sisters and half brothers and half sisters
xxi. you stepmom
xxii. your stepdad
xxiii. your girlfriend
xxiv. your boyfriend
xxv. your support group - list each member,
xxvi. the witnesses,
xxvii. the alleged victims,
xxviii. the cops,
xxix. Everybody!
f. For every person/ court I want as much information as you know. Write down the information that you have. I am not asking you to do research. I am asking you merely to organize that information that you have. For each court and human player tell me:
i. their telephone number,
ii. their mailing address,
iii. their email address,
iv. their fax number,
v. their cell phone number if you know it,
vi. their actual address if you know it,
vii. their home page if you know it
viii. their age, and
ix. their dossier. (Dossier means “tell me what we need to know about this person”. Some players won’t need a dossier.)
2. Are you going to court? When you get there
a. write down the name of the:
i. court reporter,
ii. judge,
iii. prosecutor, and
iv. your lawyer if any.
b. Ask the bailiff if you can talk to the court reporter - before or after court is in session. Ask her for an e-transcript. Give her your business card - or a piece of paper with your name, address, email address, and telephone number. Feel free to give her my name, telephone number, address and or email address. The virtue of a business card is that it fits in with her other cards. Most defendants do not have business cards and cannot justify the expense. Here is an easy way to make your own. Just pick up some business cards from businesses or lawyers in the court house. Then go home and print your name, mailing address, phone number, and email address in your printer or typewriter. Then neatly tape this piece of paper over the business card. You can waste days trying to make business cards from the forms. The important thing is to get the information to the court reporter. She may hand you HER card and ask you to write your information on it.
c. Next time there may be a new court reporter. You know the drill.
3. How to debrief: Did you go to court today or yesterday or recently? If so, the please de-brief with me after court.
a. Email me and tell me what happened - as I explain below. Lawyerdude1989@yahoo.com or Dlawyerdude@gmail.com Pick one. Don’t sent it to both! If you cannot email me, then call me Lawyerdude at 541 476 8954 to tell me how court went.
b. Criminal court is a success if you did not go to jail.
c. Criminal court is a success if you moved farther timewise without entering a plea.
d. Criminal court is a success if you controlled the pace of your case.
e. Criminal court is a success if you caught the prosecutor in a lie, negligence, or other malfeasance.
f. Tell me when is your next court date. What is the event on that date? Trial? Motion?
g. Tell me who were the players in court. Name the following of today’s players in court: Court reporter, Judge, prosecutor, you, whoever was with you in court, your lawyer (if any), their witnesses.
h. Scan or copy any papers that you received that day and email or mail them to me.
i. Tell me the name, telephone number, email address, and postal address of the today’s court reporter.
j. Order an e-transcript - and remind the court reporter that California Rule of Court 4f4 entitles you to an etranscript. Remind her, if necessary, that Griffin v Illinois (1956) http://www.circuitlawyer.8m.com/griffin.html entitles you to a free transcript! If the court reporter does not understand then I can call her. The court clerk can tell you the telephone number, name, and address of the court reporter. The number for the court clerk is printed on every paper that I write for you. It is right there at the top of the caption where the court name is listed. Remember? This is one of the items that you gave me in the list of players. The court is one of the players.
k. Write a narrative about what happened today.
l. Add that narrative to your chronology.
4. Are you on your way to file a motion?
a. As much as possible, be polite and kind to clerks.
b. The clerks are powerful people. They are your friends! Ask them for help!
c. Clerks are usually women. Women are naturally kind people. They love to help. Let them help you.
5. Did you file a motion with the court? Fax me the file-stamped top page so that I have proof.
6. Speaking in court. See these links: http://www.circuitlawyer.8m.com/5537.html
7. Have you sent me your chronology and list of players? Why not? http://www.lawyerdude.netfirms.com/5928.html Here is an addition form: http://www.lawyerdude.8k.com/summary.html
My standard terms of contract:
What I expect from you:
Here is what you can do to make me more effective and productive:
1. Fill out your chronology and list of players and email it back to me. Keep updating it. Here is the form at this link: http://www.lawyerdude.8k.com/summary.html
2. Remind me in time to write your papers. Remind me every day, please. Okay, maybe every 3rd day.
3. Show up at your court appearances.
4. Call me or email me after your court appearance to tell me what happened. I am happy to get the news by phone but I prefer that you send the details by email. Tell me your details and stories and news by email. I prefer email because I cannot remember what you tell me orally.
5. Fax a filed stamped front page to me! No fax machine? Then mail it! Lawyerdude makes a separate folder for every document. When you file a motion with the court clerk then fax me a copy of the cover sheet with the file stamp! That way I know the history of this motion. Right now I am looking at a recusal motion for Ron Fox. They did not send me a file stamped copy or a case number.
6. Be sure to fill out the proof of service on every motion. I write the proof of service but you must fill in the details and sign and date it. Fill out all the copies. The proof of service is almost always part of the document at the end - but before the appendixes. In large motions you can search for in the table of contents.
7. Debrief after every event. Most events are court appearances. An action by a clerk is an event. Life is a dynamic situation. When you are a criminal defendant you look for a path to a dismissal. You look for an end game. Convert their abuse into a dismissal. You must debrief to recognize the things that you do not recognize by yourself! Judges trample on your rights every time they speak.
a. Example: Judge refuses to sign your discovery order on 15 April. On 29 you are back in court with another request to sign your discovery order. Tell me what happened. Did he refuse to read your daily brief for that appearance? Did you say anything about the discovery order? Who spoke for you? Did a public defender speak?
b. Example. Clerk at the fake appellate window at Superior court tells you that she rejects your filing but she won’t give you a rejection slip - and then she tells you that her supervisor already called the real court of appeal and somebody there told her that you cannot appeal this thing before the end of your case. Well now you have some fat issues but if we don’t debrief then you miss this opportunity to dismiss your case. We must find out all the details. You had no opportunity to argue your position when the clerk called the court of appeal. The clerk seems to be taking sides. Does she call the court of appeal on your behalf? She is way wrong. And now the court of appeal is prejudiced in your case, so then to whom to you file your next appeal. This screwy clerk has poisoned the well at the court of appeal.
8. I won’t do this case without your help. Forget what you see on TV. That is merely entertainment. The real truth is that lawyers suck. They are predators. If you want something done well then you must do it yourself. I can help you. I won’t substitute for you. This is on your shoulders. You must help with your own case. Further on down the page are the things that you can expect from me. Here immediately below are the things that you can do in order to achieve our goal of fixing your legal problem.
9. Write a case summary and update it! Here is the format at this link: www.lawyerdude.8k.com/summary.html This case summary begins with a chronology of your case (which is also known as your “big story” ) and a list of dossiers (a dossier is collection of information about somebody ) for each of the players. Email it to me. Upgrade the chronology and list of players as you get more information - so that I have this critical personal information available when I need it to write papers. Email the upgrades to me. Nobody does this right. I must always waste time gathering this information. I generally am writing your motions in the middle of the night. I generally serve them by fax on opposing counsel and even to the court - but I can’t do that unless you tell me the fax number of opposing counsel - and the court - and their emails and telephone numbers also. They are players; put em in the list of players and send me an updated version periodically.
10. Pay me. Pay me as we go and you will get better service. Half now; half when finished. I survive on little money. I can not work if I am spending my time grubbing for money.
11. Order a transcript after every court appearance. Remember? You asked the court reporter for her telephone number and address - so you can send a check or money order to her. The clerk can tell you the name of the court reporter. Transcripts are where the action is if you want to defend yourself well in a criminal case.
12. Don’t make me chase you down. Call me every day. Okay maybe every 3rd day.
13. Turn on your communication tools. Keep in touch.
a. Tell me your telephone number.
b. Get an answering machine or voice mail.
c. Tell me where you live so I can chase you down.
d. Tell me your mailing address, please.
e. Get your mail periodically.
f. Give me a list of people who may know where you are.
g. If you have a cell phone then keep that sucker turned on.
h. If you have a pager then tell me the number.
i. Tell me your email address and send me a test message.
j. Read your email twice a day.
k. Join my web group and keep in touch with me. www.groups.yahoo.com/group/the_lawyerdude
l. Sign up for Yahoo Instant messenger and MSN instant messenger. Then put me on your friend’s list and Instant message me day or night whenever you feel the need.
m. Fax your papers to me
n. Tell me your fax number.
14. Tell me about you
a. Who are your siblings? (Age and gender is sufficient)
b. What is the occupation of each of your siblings, your Dad, and your Mom?
c. Where were you born?
d. Do you have a support group? Do you have people on whom you can rely for help and advice?
15. Write a list of players and give it to me. Players include:
a. You.
b. The court. Please tell me the address of the court, their phone number, which court room/ department you are in, the name of the judge there, the URL for the court website. Check the telephone number for the court room in case we need to call the court room.
c. The prosecutor
d. The judge
e. Your family members
f. Our witnesses
g. Lawyers on our side
h. Lawyers on their side
i. Their witnesses
j. All parties and their lawyers
k. Administrative agencies
l. People with whom we deal in the various agencies
m. Suspected snitches and narcs
n. Police who wrote reports.
o. Police who were witnesses.
16. For each player please list:
a. Name
b. Telephone number
c. Email address
d. URL or his website
e. Mail Address
f. Location address
g. The role that this player plays in this human drama.
h. Fax number.
i. What you know about this player that may be significant.
17. Brief me. Keep me posted. When you get back from court, write me an email telling me what happened. If you get something in the mail then email me about it !
18. Do not abuse instant messenger. The telephone and email are preferable. I invite instant messages, but when it goes beyond 30 seconds, well then it is time to go to telephone or email.
19. This is your case - not mine. You are responsible for you own deadlines; write em down and send em to me in an email weekly.
20. You order transcripts. Apply for a fee waiver if necessary. Ask for an e-copy in text (not picture) format. A picture of the letter “a” takes 1000 times as much space as the symbol for the letter “a”. Text is faster than pictures. Pdf comes in two styles, text and picture. Know which you are dealing with.
21. Time spent organizing files. Please don’t give me stuff that you will want back; I spend a lot of time keeping my files organized. Most of that time does not get billed to you. It is mostly overhead. However, if you have a crate of files or even a quarter of a crate, then expect to pay for the time it takes me to organize your files, Inventor Robert Kelly. Through the years I have had some childish male clients who bring me a messy box of papers. I file them. Now they want their nice organized files back. Then, 6 months later, they want some work done and they bring me the files. They are sometimes messy again. Teodor Marian and Larry Federico are two such clients. In order to prevent the problem from arising, you can give me copies - not the originals. Also, you can copy my files - - but that does not work if you are 2000 miles away.
22. I learned from farming with my brothers, that most bickering happens when people are hungry and tired. The bickering happens before lunch and before dinner - at 12 noon and 5 pm. Don’t meet with me in person right before lunch or right before dinner unless you are buying lunch for us - and then we will talk after we have eaten and drank and relaxed. People are crabby before meals. It makes good sense to consider psychology and emotions. For a 9 to 5 office the best meeting times are 10 a.m. and 2 pm, but I don’t have a 9 to 5 office.
23. Feel free to telephone me anytime day or night.
24. Schedule court appearances/ motions only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Schedule them in the afternoon if possible. Everybody is more friendly in the afternoon.
25. You must be willing to go to the court of appeal on interlocutory appeal.
26. If I am doing work for you then please visit/ telephone/ email/ instant message me every day!! That means telephone, email, or in person visit.
27. If you want to read about a case that went well, then read about the Charlie Sprinkle case here at the following link: http://www.circuitlawyer.8m.com/traffic.html Charlie spoke well in court, but mostly he simply told the just that what he has to say today is in writing already. Charlie was always charming in court and he never missed a court appearance. Charlie told the cop that he did not believe in a driver license. Charlie won in court. Very gutsy. It took almost a year. As soon as the first transcripts got printed, then the case was won for Charlie because the commissioners and judges violated Charlie’s rights and he got it down on paper verbatim. Here are the things that made Charlie’s case go well:
a. Charlie is a very charming person; everybody likes him. You can be that charming person also.
b. Charlie remembered his deadlines and called or emailed me every other day to keep me reminded. I did Charlie’s stuff at the last minute - and that is one of my faults. Often Charlie picked up his papers at my house on the way to court. Although it was at the last minute, Charlie filed and served his papers and showed up for court on time.
c. Charlie dealt with the court reporters. He ordered transcripts and followed through.
d. Charlie paid me for each bit of work. Sometimes it was $10, $20, or $40.
e. Charlie was available. He took me to dinner. I visited his house. He loaned me money when I was broke.
f. Charlie believed in his case very strongly; He was not simply taking the path of least resistance.
g. Charlie had no enemies in court; when the time came, everybody was content to simply dismiss his case.
28. Carry business cards so that you can give one to the court reporter. You can make a business card by taping a piece of paper over somebody else’s business card. Or just write your name, address, telephone number, and email address on a piece of paper.
29. Buy transcripts as necessary. Be nice to the court reporter. Get a fee waiver if you can’t pay for the transcripts. When you go to court, ask the bailiff if you may get a card from the court reporter. Tell her that you want a transcript of today’s hearing by email to dlawyerdude@hotmail.com Demand transcript in electronic format - and not a picture of the page. When the court reporter leaves the courtroom, her machine has a CD in it. She can put that cd into a computer and convert it to a message that she can send in an email or on a floppy disk. Paper transcripts are for idiot. I have received email transcripts since the year 2000. Having picked up a card from the court reporter, then order a transcript right there in court or email her for a transcript.
30. Plan your calendar; show up in court. Don’t miss court appearances.
31. Do the things mentioned in “Motions 101" at this link: http://www.lawyerdude.netfirms.com/6025.html
32. Learn a few things to say in court at this link: http://www.circuitlawyer.8m.com/5537.html
33. I am not your average lawyer; that’s a good thing. Most lawyers have way too many cases - because they have big overhead, an ex-spouse, child support payments, house payments, etc. I have low overhead; I don’t have to take so many cases. Most lawyers focus on the oral words in court; I focus on the papers. Most lawyers are weak, greedy, incompetent people addicted to alcohol and/ or cigarettes who do bad work and charge too much.
34. I accept the following forms of payment:
a. Moneygram money wired to me from WalMart and other convenient locations. I also accept Western Union money wired to me.
b. U.S. currency mailed or delivered to me by UPS, Fedex, DHL, or whomever.
c. U.S. postal money order mailed to me or delivered to me.
d. Checks and Money Orders.
35. I can not accept:
a. Pay pal.
b. Credit card payment.
Here is what you can expect from me:
36. I deliver good court papers delivered by the internet in a hurry.
37. Juries like me. I can pick a jury well. I can communicate well with a jury.
38. Disclaimer: The California bar unconstitutionally disbarred me in 1996. A void act is void ab initio. The details are on my website. www.lawyerdude.8m.com I am licensed elsewhere. If you want to know about me, read my various biographical pages at http://www.lawyerdude.8m.com/mystory.html and www.lawyerdude.8m.com Until I deal with that situation I will not likely be making court appearances.
39. I am not interested in “representing” you. I will write papers for you. It is not efficient for me to “represent” you
40. Nonetheless, just ask and I will make application to the court to appear “pro hac vice” if you so desire. This could be a defense for you if they won’t let you have our own lawyer.
41. Regarding ghost writing, know that it is perfectly legal. Go here if you have questions: http://www.lawyerdude.s5.com/6525.html
42. My fortes, my strong suits, are:
a. excellent writing and speaking abilities,
b. ability to strategize legal cases,
c. small work load so I can devote time to your case,
d. actual learning experience as a actual traffic ticket and drug defendant in jail,
e. success in drug cases,
f. creativity,
g. 15 years experience using WordPerfect to write long nice winning briefs
h. winning experience in traffic court.
43. My weak points are:
a. I don’t like to do cases that don’t interest me.
b. I don’t respond well to deadlines - although I can indeed do papers overnight and over lunch hour - but that is no way to live. The secret is to take control of the pace; you do that by setting good dates for the motions that you file. The key is to pace yourself and pace the court
c. Money makes me manic; Capitalize on my mania; send me money! When it rains I sleep.
d. I tend to tell people exactly what I think of them.
44. If you waste my time trying to cash your personal money order or check, then I expect you to pay for that time.
45. I do not work on the days when I don’t have enough money for food - even if you are paid up.
46. I do not work on rainy days; I sleep on rainy days; we have only a dozen rainy days here in southern California.
47. If I must re-file something to correct a mistake, then you must pay for that work. The correct answer is: Thanks for getting it right by doing something.
48. Public Defenders throughout the United States are pathetically defective humans beings. If you want any written work done in your case, then you need more than a public defender.
a. A public defender does not write motions.
b. A public defender does not do research.
c. A public defender does not have time to do anything but make a deal.
d. A public defender is friends with the judges and the prosecutors. He is not your friend. He won’t risk their friendship to get you off. He is a political creature. He works with these people everyday. He has a virtual account with them. He may give them a break on your case in exchange for a break on a case that is more important to him.
e. A public defender is addicted to his regular paycheck. He has a house payment and children going to expensive schools.
f. Ask a public defender how many cases he has taken so far this year. He does not know. If he knew, then you would know that he is overloaded. There are standards. A public defender is part of a mass conspiracy to deprive criminal defendants of their rights. Here is a story about some public defenders who are typical of the bad quality all around the country. http://www.lawyerdude.8k.com/6267.html Here is a story about another bad public defender in the same firm in Grant county, Washington: http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/news/local/unequaldefense/
g. There was once an ethic code that prevented lawyers from taking too many cases.
h. However, if you are guilty, then the public defender can do what he does best: He can make a deal.
Telephone Lawyerdude: 541 476 8954. Email: Dlawyerdude@Gmail.com Lawyerdude1989@yahoo.com
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Please join my newest Yahoo group for discussion or legal self help litigation. Here is the link to the link: http://www.lawyerdude.8k.com/6346.html
Do you have questions? Join our Discussion group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/the_lawyerdude
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My phone number and email address may change from time to time. If the telephone number or email address on this page is outdated then please join my group http://www.groups.yahoo.com/group/the_lawyerdude or migrate to more recent pages. There is a 4 digit number up in the top left corner of the page. Not the counter number. There is often a date at the bottom of the page. Migrate to newer pages to see my newer telephone number and email address.
My most useful web pages and my most popular web pages are these following pages:
Links for your Empowerment! Self help Litigation forms, instructions, cases, and samples.
1. How to Win. Overview. Getting started: http://www.lawyerdude.netfirms.com/7260.html
2. Over 100 actual winning motions from 22 winning pro se litigators ! http://www.circuitlawyer.8m.com/traffic.html
3. Motions 101. How to write and file and serve a motion: http://www.fu.gq.nu/6025.html
4. Briefs 101. How to write a Memorandum of Law: http://www.lawyerdude.s5.com/6435memo.html
5. Lawyerdude’s Empowerment page: http://www.lawyerdude.8k.com/medley.html
6. What performance you should expect from your criminal defense counsel: http://www.circuitlawyer.8m.com/5635.html
7. Your litigation rights page. Learn your litigation rights! http://www.circuitlawyer.8m.com/5687.html
8. Charlie’s Transcripts. Learn how to charm the judge and win your case: http://ronfox.250free.com/charlie.html
9. Learn the law ! Links to the 143 cases that define criminal procedure: http://www.circuitlawyer.8m.com/weinreb.html
10. Eighteen actual Section 1983 federal complaints: http://www.lawyerdude.netfirms.com/6008.html
11. List of the 30 most important criminal court motions. They are listed in Lawyerdude’s Bill of Rights for Criminal Defendants in jail. This is my New Standard by which to measure effectiveness of counsel. Make your appointed lawyer toe the line: http://www.circuitlawyer.8m.com/5635.html
12. Courtroom assertiveness 101: How to be assertive in court. Scripts for the Pro Se litigant: